As anyone who knew me 'back in the day' will remember, I loved to party. And I continued to well into my adult life. In spite of this, I managed to receive an Associate degree in Accounting. Once a working girl, it was a priority to plan frequent partying into my schedule. So not surprisingly, it was in a bar that I met the man I married.
In 1988 we moved to Jacksonville, FL where we began climbing the corporate ladder and living the high life. Our determination for the material things of life and excessive night life did not give our personal relationship the priority it should have had and we drifted apart emotionally. I recall my mothers advice that we should go to church, but I refused her suggestion telling her it was the stupidest thing she could ever tell me. What could church do for me? I didn't need a crutch in my life. I didn't need to be like all those people who couldn't handle their lives. I could handle my own life (or so I thought). After 7 years of marriage and 2 years of Prozac & counseling, I chose to end the marriage.
Now alone in the big city (Jacksonville was big to me then), this small town girl believed she had it all. A great job, great friends and all the night life and attention she ever dreamed of. My preference had since turned from beer to Crown Royal whiskey and opportunities for drug use were presenting themselves frequently. Thankfully I was terrified of the stories I heard about cocaine and crack being so addictive, and I happily stayed with my fermented drug of choice. I had reached my end emotionally and was very depressed. It is nothing short of a miracle that I managed to keep my jobs and never get a DUI (or kill myself or someone else) despite the consistent heavy drinking and driving almost every night and every weekend. Although I never admitted it then, I was a functional alcoholic. Addicted not to the alcohol alone, but also to the club environment and everything that went with it. I sowed a lot of wild oats in the next few years, believing that one day the real Mr. Right would come along and take my depression away.
Well He finally did... I received a mailer for a new church that had just started down the road from my home (www.celebration.org.) The pastor's picture looked like most of the people I partied with every night. It said "Church is fun, Contemporary music, Come as you are." Well this didn't sound like any church I had ever heard of. The only experience I had was dreading church as a child. We were not involved. But none the less, boring, lifeless attendance every Sunday was required. I don't think I ever saw anyone with a Bible.
But this new place sounded different... and by a complete act of God, I attended this church on January 31, 1999 and met Mr. Right (Jesus Christ) and was radically saved! (Saved from what??? Click here.) I walked out of that church a new creation! I wanted to tell the whole world about Jesus (and still do!) A fire was ignited inside of me that day and it has continually grown hotter ever since. That was the day I realized I was created for a purpose. I began to study the Word of God daily and have built a close and personal relationship with the Lord. I can't imagine where I'd be if Jesus hadn't changed my heart when He did. I doubt I'd be alive. He truly is my everything. I will live the rest of my days worshipping Him, fully devoted to His purposes.
Eleven years later, after spending four years on staff at two churches, developing & leading a singles ministry for two of those years, living as a "house mother" for homeless, addicted women for two years, and doing three+ years of inner-city street ministry, my relationship with the Lord continues to deepen and grow. I am currently the Lead Case Manager at Atlanta Outreach Project (www.atloutreach.org), a student at Beulah Heights University (www.beulah.org), part of the team who just launched Hope Church in South Metro Atlanta (www.hope-church.tv), and am currently developing a non-profit organization called B.A.M. Inc. (Becoming A Man) (www.becomingamaninc.org). Forever changed, my life continues to be completely centered around Jesus Christ & making a difference for the Kingdom of God!
1 Tim 1:13-16 (Msg - paraphrased)
I’m so grateful to Christ Jesus for making me adequate to do this work.
He went out on a limb, you know, in trusting me with this ministry...
But I was treated mercifully because I didn’t know what I was doing...
Grace mixed with faith and love poured over me and into me - and all because of Jesus!
Here’s a word you can take to heart and depend on:
Jesus Christ came into the world to save sinners. I’m proof! Public Sinner Number One!
...someone who could never have made it apart from sheer mercy.
And now he shows me off (evidence of his endless patience)
to those who are right on the edge of trusting him forever.
My Passionate Cry:
Acts 20:22-24
And see, now I go bound in the spirit to Jerusalem,
not knowing the things that will happen to me there,
except that the Holy Spirit testifies in every city, saying that chains and tribulations await me.
But none of these things move me; nor do I count my life dear to myself,
so that I may finish my race with joy, and the ministry which I received from the Lord Jesus,
to testify to the gospel of the grace of God. NKJV
Acts 9:6
"Lord, what do You want me to do?" NKJV
My Personal Testimony
Song/Music by Jason Upton: The World is Wide Open (click here to go to Jason Upton's website)
